Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
