You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
