What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
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I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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