is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
