ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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