Will you blow on my dice?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
