dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
