his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
