new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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