My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she told me i tasted like america
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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