bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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