i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
