I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
