I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
