So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
