Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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