I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
