So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
