your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize