You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
nutella sex= disaster
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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