I'm lost and stupid without you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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