do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize