put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
