my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
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Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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