brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
