i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
