She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
