The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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