I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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