I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
