Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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