I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
