whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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