while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
