How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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