One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Drunk is a universal language darling
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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