I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
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The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize