Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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