It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
