I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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