I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize