I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
