What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My vagina just recognized that song.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
