and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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