Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize