my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize