arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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