tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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