Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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