So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
