I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
