omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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