I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
