i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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