Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
