is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
