I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
