Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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