dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
