The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
