Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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