why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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