Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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