Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize