Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
