My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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